My Journey is in no way over, yet i feel as though it is just beginning. My God is faithful and loving. He is my rock in which he has heard my cry for help and he has come to my rescue. God patiently waiting for me to return home to him. No love on this earth can fulfill the desires of my heart like my God can. No one would ever make a sacrifice so loving as my God did for me. God has patiently waited for me, tapping me on the shoulder a few times, breaking me physically and emotionally until nothing was left in me and faithfully just like always God was behind me pulling me back to him. Patiently waiting for me to turn around and run into his arms again. God has never left me just as he promised. I became stubborn and frustrated and would give it to God and then quickly take it right back and then fall right back to where I was.
I have a sense of Joy in my heart again, a desire to seek all what God has planned for my life. Finally for the first time in so long I believe that I can truly say "I am happy". Life is not easy but that is just a part of life and I am trusting that whatever God has planned for me is SO much better than that in which I could ever have imagined.
"For I know the plans I have for You", declares the Lord "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11
Although forgetting and forgiving are very hard things for me to do I know that someday this will all be nothing. God knows the desires of my heart and I am faithful in seeking his will in my life. My eyes have been opened so much the past couple of weeks. SO much has been revealed to me and so many doors have been opened that it is impossible to not see God working in it somehow. God has filled my broken heart with the fullness of his love, the heartaches, the brokenness the missing pieces of my broken heart have once again been restored by none other than my loving and forgiving God. He has dried my tears, instead of tears of sorrow I have tears of Joy, my soul thirst to seek him and his love and approval and not the love of the world.
I have no regrets because all that I have been through so far has been in God's plan for me and even though during those hard times and sometimes unbearable struggles I thought I could not get through it, they have made me stronger. God completely brought me to my knees where he has been waiting the entire time for me to call upon him and give it all to him. God is writing my love story and preparing my heart so that I am prepared for what he has in store for my life. He knows that I am not ready yet, But that is why he is guiding my journey, he is in control and after all "the harvest is ripe and ready".
"That circumstance..... that situation you would plead with God to change, that thing you hate that he allowed because he loves you. Use it and allow him to call your heart back and more deeply into him.... God has a purpose for the pain.. God is relentless in his pursuit of us. His love is not a pampering love; it is a perfecting love. The pathway to revival is through pain. God calls you back through Pain, further and deeper into Him."
<>< Ash <3
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever." - 2 Peter 5:10-11
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